Alchemisland

A little to the left

While I pilfer all you have left

Reconnaissance, know you keep it in a hidden cleft

Between two nail-mad boards, behind the bed

So in I crept on knell of ten.

In my vault I’ve got fuck all

Wanna wage like a footballer

But I didn’t shouldertoss spilled salt

Haven’t got enough for a single wall

Nevermind a gaff, throw a coin in me hat as you pass

If I save them up I can get a sandwich with ham

Brainfood to aid my plans, big plans of fund management

Sending marriage requests by text, who said romance is dead

If she says no, swipe right then I’m onto the next

Most don’t make much but this one has legs

I’m willing to bet, and that’s half the problem

Half the profit going back into the bookie’s coffers

I never cough up, too addicted, cookies for the cookie monster

Delete my browser cache, history and cookies, in case the missus takes a lookie

Type P in the search bar, it’s not porn I’m paro about

It’s Paddypower I was on depositing about an hour ago

She’d shout, she’d call me a clown, she doesn’t allow it

She’s middle class and proud, that’s half her power

But you’re the one who married a bowsie

Who loves drinking Powers and selling powder at all hours