Alchemisland

Pennies but not from heaven

From the machine slot because I rolled three 7’s

She’s dressed in Penneys best, wants to get in my bed and be caressed

But I’ve a stress headache, been unable to rest since last Wednesday

When I got the text informing me

When the sky absorbs the soul we’re meat again

We’ll never meet again, I’ll never pass you in the street again

You’re as lifeless as a Ken

Bounded out the pen to somewhere beyond my ken

We were friends, you were a legend

I didn’t tell you that enough in the end

You were looking scuffed and scruffy

On a downward trend, selling woof in rough ends

I watched you from the tinted windows of my Benz, we were at opposite ends

Of a spectrum but we were both respectable men

Now you’re by the Styx with the boatman

Soul floating up like a voter

Always pour a bit of my hip flask out when I’m out as a votive

I never did tell you I loved you, I’m not very emotive

Thought it’d be enough if I wrote it

Now I realize I was acting like a dope

Now I need the dope to avoid the rope

I feel it like a massive stone

The weight of all the words unspoken, spirit eroding

End of road spells end of hope, I’m feeling mopey

Just out and I’m headed for home, wave bye to the homies

They don’t even know me, I try to get away but all roads lead to Rome

Trying to ignore it, bury that bone, but it’s bigger than you know

Bigger than the colossus that guarded Rhodes

I’m too guarded to impart this

I suppose that’s what leads me to want to be an artist

When I scribe, or try to, this carapace unhardens

Keep space, enough paces for a grave, beside the carrots in the garden

Every exit route brings no sooth, I’m toyed with by Loki

Used to be a boy, thinking I was a top bloke, but I’m a broken toy

Fuck it, fix me to a stave and pour oil, face away from me while I’m smoking

Send me away to the next place, I’m dying and dying for the next phase

I’ve disgraced myself, I feel out of place and I’d be lying

If I swore I wasn’t tempted by the cold void of space, pleasantly empty

Tried emptying my head by smoking a blunt or twenty, barely made a dent

Like the one you left above the reg, it’s the lucky ones’re dead

I’m coasting on sin, my inside full of useless things like a second shed

I filled up the tub and took a long soak

I was counting down the hours, still hours to go

The brightest lights, the sourest sour, the most beautiful flower

The best and rarest things go quick, unable to sustain their power

But that doesn’t help with the strain, doesn’t absolve the stain

I’m praying despite naysaying, skin pinkpurple below stained panes

Perhaps that’s the reason behind this compulsive toking

I’ve cashed all the tokens I was holding and got no prizes

No prizes for guessing who never smiles, who is self spiting

I wish I had been on that burning ship, fit for a viking

I acted like it was nothing, just a blip

Now my heart rate spiking just writing about it

In dead night passing but only sensed, two ships

Two strands of a web ripped by a whipping wind

Both sent elsewhere, both spun widdershins.