Alchemisland

I’m always on the lash

I’m a gun toting badass

With a Walrus ‘tache

I’ve got a Richter Belmont lasso and a brass badge

Don’t act rash, I’m throwing bad guys in the tank

They needed an Irishman to tame the yanks

Abrasions, too hard when I wank

A maiden my ass, that slot stank

Didn’t stop me eating it after a spanking

Flag, banners star spangled

Gun angled to mangle, no new fangled gadgets for this bandit

STD I’ll catch it, I eat snatch without ketchup

I’ve already lapped you, you better catch up

If you want to be champion

My woman is tall, on two stilts she’s standing

To reach that coochie, I leap like a salmon

What I’m eating tastes like creamy salmon

Pussy so tight it’s like the night before exams, cramming

No marmalade here, this cock I’m jamming

She’s saying daddy, I’m craving mammy

Cave explorer, exploring fanny canyon

Over the whole world, I’m Danny champion

Champing at the bit, one hit; in this land we call that a lamping

No tent, just a rollout bed and the stars and the desert, no glamping

In bed we’re like hormonal teens at the hardcore show, slam dancing

Two rutting stags, prancer and blitzen 

Wanna fuck me in this here kitchen? You know my answer

I love women and I rarely call them bitches

Fill them full of semen when I pull down my britches

No scars, nothing serious, but thrash me with these here switches

They’re meant for disciplining horses, forcing them out of ditches

She rubs me like she’s gonna get three wishes

Cuddles me after, definitely got daddy issues

Sweating coming off the rafters, wipe me down with tissues

We each take a wrap, drug misuse

She’s got my back, like my masseuse

I hit it from the back baby, room’s a zoo

Jaw chewing, I’m no longer human

Eyes old and blue, I’m a 50s crooner

And they all wanna hear my tunes

Leaving Hamelin with all women of age, like a page 3 parade

Dick so big it tickles the womb

Into the stomach like a feeding tube

No feeling, last longer numbing lube

Hard as the megaliths at Loughcrew when I see her nude

Two pale basketballs those ample boobs

First look down her top, a sample view

Ampules I got we took a few

Astral projection, souls scrape the roof

Kundalini that we produced

Could power the house, electric juice

Changes mood like a rapper changes shoes

But we always end up back here, the right to choose

She sat in my lap and my thighs got bruised

Her ass I slapped, fucked through and through

Spent afterwards, of all notions disabused

My eye to her asshole, bowel perusing

Nothing she won’t do, my muse

No matter how lewd she won’t refuse

Spaffed on her, then bought her shoes

Devil’s daughter, born short fused

Two becoming one, beings fused

A limb confusion, I like contusions

Her glistening slit left a trail like a slug

She leaves the bed welted and red marked, but there’s no bed bugs

If she doesn’t cum, I’ll end up in the river inside a rolled up rug

We’re doing puff puff on some rolled up drugs from South County Dublin

How much of my innocence she took, tantamount to mugging

She shrugs at my suggestion of backrubs

Give me mushrooms, give me shrubs

Short with me after she’s done

Hotter than the sun to touch

Always on the drink, on the brink

On the cusp of being called a lush

But it doesn’t bear thinking about

Let’s get bare naked and turn each other inside out

Smother me with those motherswollen tits, yum

Let me grip your clit with my icepick tongue

Empty my cum clip, throbvein gun.