Alchemisland

Pale and bruised, pallor grand piano

One too swollen to use, Balor eye shadow

I never stop moving like Hanno

So fucked, couldn’t tell you the anno

Rarely touch ground

Keep ground up green in the pocket of my dressing gown

Plus enough brown powder to take a bull elephant down

Pussy for dinner everyday, double servings of clam chowder

Chowing down, circling clit town until she’s screaming louder

Dick stood tall, standing proud

I always stand pat, never stand down

Cowboy hat, black as a bat in a sundown town

Ran aground, two trips around now I run this town

I’m funny as fuck, like Burnistoun

They watch my every move

Glued to me like I’m Saturday cartoons

Staying up late like it’s a stakeout

Evolved vampire, I take the stake out

Take a walk even if the sun’s out

Laps of the estate

My bonnet a potential kid slayer

You want chronic but your tone doesn’t sit right, like AC Slater

Listening to Slayer, driving like Burnout takedown

Bad turnout but I still burn this place down

Homegrown blunt hanging outta my mouth

How many whiskey shots? I done lost count

You can’t count on your fingers until you get the finger out

Ladies love the singers, after I’m gone my weed smell lingers long

My clothes unwashed give off a serious pong

I’ve got a serious dong that’d make some fearful

I’m getting tighter than a fat cunt’s belt

Her coochie tighter than the crack in the liberty bell

She’s the belle of this ball, compelling me to crawl

Led my by balls, from the dancehall, as I recall

To my basement flat, gig posters line the walls

Drink from the can because I own fuck all

Save my money for drugs, arm like leather awled

Give me the leather until I’m bawling

I’ll use my letters until I’m balling

Waking up with the sensation of having fallen

Lucifer, the lightbringer, what’s in my cauldron

Tonight we’re staying in the Maldron

You’re looking whopper all dolled up

A seeing to you’ll get, good and proper

Just get me propped up, too many poppers

I’m seeing more glass than a window shopper

I’ve got no class, ain’t no cap doffer

Quickly shot off, absolute jizz lobber

Infinite ammo, S rank earned Jill a rocket launcher

Smoking to conjure up a mist

Monosyllabic lips but everyone gets my gist

Things to get twisted fill my shopping list

Last night we trysted, bedsheets twisted

She loves me, she loves me not: signal cryptic

But I decrypt it, my temper quick, grows like a Triffid

One pump and she had triplets

Pops ‘em out, her womb makes tribbles

Never had a hope of being good, born divil

Made for the streets, like Carnival

Change my name, like the Transvaal

To something cooler, like Thomas Sharkbiter or Sax Brawler

How many stragglers I’m picking up, human trawler

Perfect recall, my mind and eyes a tape recorder

Scheming until I’m steaming, out comes the demon

Been on my belly, like crawlers fleeing Eden after appleeating season

Toilet like after street food from Delhi that I don’t recall eating

Never have meals between binging sequences

Six white russians and I’m telling secrets for cigarettes

I’ve done things and Jesus wept

Explosive argument out of every quibble

Take five of those ones that make you dribble

On the streets with a coke sniffle

Throwing shapes like missiles

Close shaves, they hate my missives

Swing around on three, shoot from the hip

Eating more ass than a cannibal proctologist

I’ve got strong shoulders from wearing pauldrons

Spent a decade down in the doldrums

Still can’t act my age, still throwing tantrums

Temper more explosive than 80s Antrim

Five finger discount works in every shop in Dundrum.