Alchemisland

I’ll smoke fifty fags and still kick your ass

Huffing, outta gas and still surpassing

All you gasbag slags, I can still hang

Even though I’ve gone to the dogs

Move smooth, tight combos, boxing

Like a pro outside the shops on Sackville Row

I hit a tramp a slap that slumps him

He was Down Under like Steve Irwin

When I unwind with a special cocktail of gin and cider

I retain foresight, writing down what it sounds like tomorrow

Borrowing the names of plugs for my lyrical puzzles

My vote is the decider, I’m the rider; last one riding

So many bullets skipped by, close but not quite

I got a rep, men said I couldn’t die

I couldn’t say but for sure heart of ice

I wouldn’t give anybody a grain of rice I called mine

Hustling baldheads with malty-smelling tonic

You’ll have Michael Bolton locks before Sunday night when Heartbeat starts

I’ve seen glowing stars in eyes and slowing heartbeats finally stop

I’m finally here and it’s everything I’m not

Lied until I was, I was hiding pride and hiding triumphs owed above

When it came to my trial, a lot of lice came out from hiding

Vultures circling, having spied one close to dying

Vermin in turncloak alliance, Satan burn them for eternity

Pals took the stand and each one added a sandbag before grabbing

And depositing me in the strand, to be had by sharks and crabs

Alas I could not be convicted, no visage

Victims and damage inflicted but mask;

No jail visits, I’ve got loads of bits but I can’t stand the pricks who insist

On kissing my dick when they come to visit, clout of knowing a plug

I have clouds and doubt but you wouldn’t know from my mouth

I’m never gonna make a sound about that, it doesn’t come out

Silent shout, we’ll call it, they talk themselves out and bounce.

Free house my bird’s not about so I get to work 

My tolerance about to get shown

Divvying up lines, out by the landline phone

Snow up my nose, like a snowball got thrown.