Alchemisland

If drugs go missing, I know it’s not because of the Borrowers

If I have a mole in my operation, I ban all burrowers from the grow

Funds held in escrow until the drugboats show

For now, I’m wearing a mask Mexican parade, whilst frying on acid

Pull into Texaco, pumping until the dial smacks capacity

Try not to engage the server, nod gravely to the gauge at which I serviced

I make sure to push all nervousness down, away from the surface

Confidence, maintain a black market surfeit,

Is as ever surefire, I smile and tell my white lies; I’m the best at weather chat

For every common phrase, I’ve a different little witty comeback

Not just a scumbag, some old hag says laughing you’re a gas man

I shoot back quick as ‘here to read the meter’ – I don’t mean Zyklon B either

Listening to the Meters singing about zoos

Reading about the Van Meter Visitor, Keel querying whether Earth’s a zoo too

I’m doing laps of backroads in a black mac

Slappy, sideways rain batters the car

Out straight hate people outta their brain over a bit of rain, never did any harm

No one from this nation should need that explained, we’re Rain’s favourite

More than cold, windy and rainy, Ireland’s weather is changeable

Whether we’re experiencing famine hinges on whether potatoes are available

Time I have a whale of one, Moby Dick says Cap’in in muttered tones

He’d got to hell and back, or not back, to sink a harpoon in that vast alabaster flank

Being frank, I would not sign my name to the ship’s roll for all Atlantis’ secrets

You, my friend, do not understand how many times I’ve seen this sequence

For me, this is a sequel

For you, this is some secret working of fate; a brilliant, destined day

We all see our boons this way, that’s no crime

But you’re Irish and I like you, you have a glint in your eye and a less glib smile

Than some others in your midst, let this mission miss you

But of course those sails flew, those whales blue

Fierce crew-rattling winds sailed away for the ocean blue