Alchemisland

I ran all over town in a duck down jacket, like a down and out hunting fag ends

I have more racks than Baggins stores in Bag End, bagged half a dragon’s swag

Bent coppers round these ends, not afraid to bust heads like Aztec trepanning experts

Sex pests, leng ones, ex pats, drunk Paddys, Spanish plumbers, Latvian bouncers

Potholes give you a flat, council say it’s roads authority for that

Why do I care – I don’t pay tax

I got rank flats, as many as lives for a cat

Job perks: berks give me bucks;

Thots feel they owe me curtsies and courtesies.

I got courtside seats for a season

Don’t attend a single game, stans seething

I can’t stop how I am I’m a born sleeveen

Raised on vixen milk and silk potatoes.