Alchemisland

Full of piss and vinegar 

Practically oozing jizz, lick it girl 

Outrizz the Rizzler

Chase the Chasers, win the quiz 

Drinking chasers, spent every quid 

Drank from the spout until I got kicked out

Now I’m hunched over the sink 

Sick coming out my mouth fountain 

Her name is Abbie, not Downton 

She’s down to fuck, right away touching

Not fussy, I’m a stringent Prussian 

When it comes to minge and pussy

Pushing in, never rusty like Russian equipment

Sausage favourite Superquinn 

Sizzling like an egg chucked in 

Fiddling, fiddling throw one quid in 

Pints on me, pints again 

My round forever, the lights are bent 

Or I’ve fallen again and hit my head 

Smoking so much my table

Looks like a steaming vent 

Smoking so much I’m unable 

To get one willing wet 

Forgot how much I’ve spent 

Wasted all my breath 

Absolutely I’m in debt 

Gonna feel like death 

Soon be on the mend 

Then back on a bender

She’s sending me location pins 

I’m so drunk I won’t get in 

But she’s insistent 

And got a few quid

I’ve got two powder bags 

And enough gob gab barney blag 

To twist a vegan into eating ham

I roll up, nod, doff hat, howya fam 

He looks at me like I’m cats

In an overcoat, I pat my front 

Whip out a smoke 

Lounge, toke, show I’m sober 

Strut around, chuck it on the ground 

Go back over, he looks me over

Pullover, striped shoulders

Down to my mouldy Adidas

I’m in and I hope they have a key cut

I cut into a key, take a finger gum it

Numb, my drumming heart at club 

Rhythm kickstarted, I crane 

Some party this place

Feeling I can’t explain

Akin weightlessness 

To someone never in space

Thumping bass, Thumper foot patrons 

Tapping away, hands up like palming rain 

I’d get canned if the police raided 

Not ashamed to say that I’m afraid 

Of that fate

Fear nothing more than closed gates 

I’d find my way out, mate 

Down a tunnel, through a grate

I invented great escape

See me on the motorcade

Going away, say goodbye today 

I’m gone tomorrow

Which never dies 

A phrase to borrow

Killing license

Orders defied besides 

I find myself beside her

Her group in a booth 

Drinking cider with ice.