Alchemisland

I don’t wait to say it I just spray like the hay was in flames and I had water

But not on the brain, I never take on water, I never take on more than

I could handle or pay for, I won’t be left waiting, always put forth

For first place, that space on the podium I’m taking reserved for gold

I don’t say see you next Tuesday I say cunt out straight

Like I was Australian teasing a mate, I beat him like my meat

When I was 10 with Evangeline Lilly on screen in something shear

Fight the biggest of the bunch or the hunched over litter runt

I don’t give a fuck, all at once like a rugby scrum

I come in thunder like a Jove, I smoke while you get your bird up the pole

I call a load of bald Poles I know, former Wisła Sharks, violence pros

They’ll roll up, shove a screwdriver up your nose to trepan you

Out in the open, your blood soaks the cobbles up in Cornmarket

I’m at home cornering new markets, watching a documentary about sharks

They used say sharks couldn’t get cancer but it’s been proved a myth

About to light my fifth crippling spliff and kick back to write lyrics

When someone rings

Check the clock quick can’t be someone looking for bits

Otherwise it’s ending up a shit kicking in, instincts kicking in

I clear up quick, shove all the weed stuff into a sweet tin

Full of money and pills and notepads I quilled in, full of real sins

Confessions fetch me ten to life in the pen or a looney bin

Open it with the chain, gnarled entwife face of my neighbour Jill

It’s half past eight and she’s sucking on a half-smoked Major

I ask what time of day do you call this

Sorry to call in on me like this but needs to borrow milk

Masked Singer’s on, likes it with a warm brew since she kicked milk

Of the poppy top ups and shots every night, ice behind the lock up

Rocking against the tagged shutters of a locked up shop

Nights in the cop shop locked up until cockrow, causing rows

Rows of louts filing out, see you again come sundown

JLOs into big boy crimes, no more juvie – actual time.