Alchemisland

You’re caught like a bug in my pooter

I’m catwalk petunias, you’re store bought

My depth tuna, your soundings come back minus 2

All gear no idea, mile wide inch deep the rising

Water could not have been further from my thighs

You might guess by your blackened thighs

That I spent a while practising Muay Thai

Now I’ve got my hand on her thigh, drinking mai tais

Crime on the rise as my belt increases size

All proceeds in bulging swag bags, armoured carriage

Ferries it to the bank, the clank of dwarven locks 

No robber could hope to lop off with his cutters

House is cluttered, shelves lined with old books

Page colour mustard, I am beginning to show rust

Signs of ageing, I must be Talos of the ancients

Those pagans knew a thing or two about patience

Time as a dimension of Egyptian architecture

Yawning in the lectures even though I’m interested

Irish priests can be bested when it comes to molesting

I won’t ever be less than, learn no lessons

Her husband comes in I’m under the mattress like a bedpan

He wouldn’t understand, I slink down the veranda after

Low moving through the plants, suburban Vietnam

Hey kid sorry I did that to your ma, go in and hug your da

Tactics learned, earned from years working with the Ra

Blowing up members of the Raj, bomb blast bye bye royal paederast

How many asses did Mountbatten take a pass in before we iced him

He died on a burning boat like a Viking funeral, let’s go hiking soon

Bodies to bury it’s almost full moon, Merry

Has the best hook up for pipe weed, green greed even in the Shire.