Alchemisland

All the things I’ve seen, how I’m not mad a Marian miracle

Thank Granddad for my grandiloquence, flick off the spent ash

Move my head like I was avoiding the cast of a slick peltast

I might be dyslexic but those ominous letters spell disaster

Get out of here now and not after, provisions loaded in the camper

Carrying on and keeping calm just like the sign advised

Beans and rice for the next fortnight

Not one second I didn’t need a shite

It was like high noon that night

Around the fire tooting

Like Mel Brooks yelled shoot!

My brother’s favourite, best in his view

Hunger on me like I had it tattooed

Hanamura how I’m sneezing rude, four times saying god bless you

No room at the inn of my bunker

Enough food to fight hunger for 70 years, a 100

Now let’s get under, hear lid shutting thunder

And talk about how we could best get to hunkering

Left my bass in the hands of Sid Vicious

Grist for the mill, fistfuls of pills to smother visions

I’m doing urban assault courses, geocache missions

Taking stock of my iodine, form a line

Outside my bunker when the grid goes down

I’m waiting with the truncheon like the dungeon guard

Lunge in and hear your cranium crunching, spelunking

How deep is my underground bunker, ladder 1000 runged

Like it was designed by From Software 

Hot oil poured down on you, fatally gunged

Wait for a bunch of you, plunge it

Watch you burn down to a bubbling puddle

Saw a man with arrows in both eyes

Still swinging a sword for his sire

Eyeless shouldn’t quench one’s fire, such defiance

Nobody wanted to slay him, this brave individual

So I took it upon myself to smother his residuals

Silence like the moment before starting finals

That moment before violence, so highly prized

As a mettle testing metric 

In my back garden bayoneting straw Hun

Waiting for the divorce to be finalised, done

See you later, hun

She is meeting someone called Simon for lunch

He’s feeding her a python for lunch.