Alchemisland

When it’s time go no one will know it was me

Wore a thick black robe down to the knee

Grow a beard, lay low for the next three 

Weeks, things gleaming no receipts for them

Guests are eager this evening but I don’t receive them

I’m ghosting everyone, phone is on flight mode

Heads bopping up, I’m gonna try strike mole

One strike more and I’m out, two of three

Stuff that’s edge of seat, I’m Babe Ruth 

Using my sharp tooth to rip up a Bible

Took out the book of Ruth, leave the writ ruthless

Printing shit, rumours

Leave the git toothless

Peterloo how I ride men down with no regard

Waterloo, how I can’t ride with piles hurting my arse

In attracting flies finish top of class

Don’t top me up, fill a proper glass

Surprised when I pay cash, happy to flash it to my benefit

Everyone crowd around me I ash it, call that togetherness

Pleasure no foregoing it, no way I’m forgetting this

Apollo with the golden disc, I wipe the whip with a dishcloth

She’s asking to get frisky but the bouncers wanna frisk me

I’m insistent but they are consistent in their refusal to accommodate my needs

I can’t let them touch my pockets because they’re full of magic beans

She calls me to the apartment, it’s fit for a queen, the curtains beads

Feel like a place you buy adult DVDs in two thousand and three

She’s sitting on my knee like she’s about to ask me what’ll be under the christmas tree

Obscenity charges discharged once they read my text history, a twisted fiend

My feet are blistery and the mystery drink makes me wince, drinking listerine

Rot below, the skin is glitzy

Place been here since the Blitz, he

Said come on down it’ll be the pits

It’s a pit alright, wouldn’t shit

Here on another night, still sit

So much fitness I thought it was Ireland’s Fittest

No thanks for the Guinness, shout no to stout, vodka lemon bitters

Like something out of the old world, Timesplitters

I bide my time memorizing tongue twisters

Young fellas fight-mad, wanting to prove their fistic prowess

One girl’s eyes pritt sticked to me, hit print receive, she wants to have sex

She’s almost browless, can tell she’s prowling, show us your growler

I’m wearing Leo Bloom’s black bowler, giving mine off while Blazes is over

Drawing sights like a sniper’s favourite, plumage like an aviary

Bump into me and spill my pint, god save you

Drink like a navy sailor first time stationary in ages

Love me now but they hate on me in stages

Laughing at my pages until the pen became my wages

Mistranslated, facts wrongly conflated, falsely named a traitor that’s staining

During training I from drugs and sex abstain, but I’m never in training

All my talent down the drain, does it flush clockwise in Australia

I came down like to the river praying, shot spaceship, comet trailing

Hop the railing because it’s running, sprint for the train and get on without paying

Mind is like boggle, making words fit snuggled fittingly, antient scrabble

My motto is to hornswoggle, I’m diving below in Dior goggles

From a single scrap, a shard like nothing, we can decipher most of an ancient map

Unscrambling the languages scrambled at Babel to find the lost ziggurat

Like Nick to GSP: where you at? Comes through on whatsapp

Zap Brannigan how I fuck up and on my feet land again

I planned to fuck a cyclops but my plan was shortsighted

Overexcited by the monosighted, wet as the hair of Poseidon

Purple hair her pussyfronds, she lifts a short toga 

Rearranged the thong, ass up in front of me no yoga

She has a mouthful of yoghurt

I’m at the backseat, taking the greek way

She’s found her white whale, Queequeg

Been a while when she said quick

Going wild on this thick dick

Pussy fit to measure, got it set to mega

Slot that make a king a beggar

Blow my cartridge, Sega

Clean don’t got no smegma

Say when, I go forever

It’s done, I do a legger

Asks am I coming over

Fuck yes I am, two shakes lamb’s tail

I’m in the door like a bulldozer

Woke dad, he’s not dozing

Woke baddie, she’s a hoe at home

And a freedom fighter fighting Rome on the roads

Years since I was last sober, gave my soul to Sobek

Drink a cold Becks while I’m getting the leg over

Bendy she’s able to flex like the spaghetti is ready

I’m showering her but it’s not wedding confetti

I’m hitting her so hard she’s making confessions

Before I go, she’s begging to nail down the next session

I’m aloof and aristocratic, I leave the attic room without a mention

Mensch looking hench in a trenchcoat

Her unmentionables I had thrown

Landed on the stairs, like someone skinned a cheetah

She asks me am I cheater, set a record hundred metres

I’m a friendly greeter, up front agreeable, but I’m a teaser

It’ll end with you greeting, feeling deceived, when I leave you won’t see

I won’t think on you again, even in my forgotten dreams

Once that door closes it’s sealed and can’t reopen

Ask my exes and friends if you think I’m joking

That can of worms that you opened

Is starting to grow mould on it

I see you, I’m leaping up onto the bonnet, told you man 

Leave you like Tollund Man, in the museum behind glass for your ma to cry at

Being made for pleasure

She was getting that there, inside ‘em

No dead air when I sight them

Just dead stare and bullets spiralling through the air

Where you do a lot of skincare, hit you there

Smell of singed hair, had open head like selling cells

Groping, gulping, getting head before I’m sent down.