Alchemisland

I’m a straight shooter

Yusuf Dikec

Check the bottom line, small fry

Tell her you’re getting the check

She doesn’t mind

Cold outside, shoulders up at lobes like box confined

Mind fried like a boxcut landmine

Enemy mine, stand aside or die

Pistol by my side, soon astride level with eyes

Turn, would have heard his tyre screeching

But he didn’t even reach for the keys

Entire second clip didn’t need it

First took out his knees like Falls Road ’83

Columbia jacket back rimed with buckshot pox

Big slash through the bright material from the flak

I brought a 50 cal to the laser tag, hey what’s that

Zzzzat man back into the cabin, fire breathing like a dragon

Last man stumbling confused unkempt, Ross Kemp lookalike went white

Before he went limp, tripping over blood fissuring, needing stimpaks.

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Gonna refuse me but I still ask

Can I take your dinner tonight?

Might buy me a lotto ticket

Maniac, feel like a winner tonight

Caught in the police headlights

Arms up like he won the fight

I’m out, spritely mightily up over the gate in Nikes

Way he knelt, would have thought he saw his flag

Would have made an expert bellboy way I kneel to scoop the bag

Bitch I’m fine, line up the targets

Blast them all, I’m not lying

Lowkey I’m Loki

Shooting the floor

Opps doing Hokey Cokey

Snowing outside, maybe

Someone threw a coke key into the ceiling fan for real

Everyone wants to steal for me, is this too real for thee

Brandishing my steel in your face; are you feeling it now Mr Krabbs?

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I’m those scary chimps who practise war

Jungle corridor mine, forswear your right to delight in it

Or I’ll psycho quick as lightning, chin Linda Blair when I strike it

360 spin cycle

Midway through my cycle USADA testers arrive

Slide under my gym octagon, hide until five

They’re blowing up my phone, I’m inches away

Trying to breathe quietly, don’t give it away

Give my foe’s face a light snap, Brad Pitt in Snatch

How I got that dog; heady fog from my end of the Olympic digs

I’ve got fiends making pinpricks, ain’t diabetics taking Ozempics.

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I line it up, my eye twinned to the barrel

I need no special equipment, I am a natural

Shit’s in my marrow, it goes straight as an arrow

Tell William Tell to give William Burroughs ten lessons

Sink a bullet into the target’s womb, boom it

She’s wearing my gold but I am the actual

They roll up, all the swag metrosexuals

I show up hands pocketed, making tech look ineffectual

Swag only a badman camera can capture

Cashing my checks, Fievel going out west

In fine furs dressed, glad rags pockets bulging with bags

Baddies tipping mounded ashtrays into the bin

Seeking pleasure and pain like pale pate had pins in

In my opinion my targeting like duck hunt

Wig one, scrape the other along his pinion

Know the clip full, always ready, Yusuf Dikec

Don’t need to check, spot guaranteed an elect

Judges like Rob Drydek, watching this Ridiculousness

Witnessing my firearm fitness, it’s the pit stop

Bitch giving me top, looks like Penelope Pitstop

Whacky baccy in the pocket behind my braces, racing to face it

Man will get shot over pot

Shy of the pot, I shit on the floor

Seeing a doctor like you found a black spot

Up against the Predator, three red dots

Deal at the spot, package swap

He tries to rush off, hold his hosses

Good hostess but afraid you hostage

Any escape hopes you foster

Let them begone, here you’ll rot to bone dust

Wild horses how I run after him

Mild laughter coz I hit the blunt

Before I ran up on him

I’m following a drip drip trail through sunless alleys, cup of him

Gotta be cut of him, butting in on my operation in Buttevant

Like a butty fill him full of chips, my stake splinters in his chest

I force the clip in on his forehead, two shots dead

Cut him down to pipe size, Mario level, Fred West.