If these dreams heavensent be
Then the cheffing there’s magnificent
Happy to break that bread unleavened
Slather mayo on the Manna but reverently
I’m not resident evil I’m resident greedy
Whatever it is, slather a pat on and feed me
Wanting fourths waiter won’t heed me, know he sees me
Do I sound like a man who had all he could eat?
Call me Bottomless Pete, Depthful Ste, Appetite Andrew, Fullmouth Dee
Digestive dreadnought in odd socks pulling up at Camden Lock
Wearing wolf pelts and brandishing axes, asking is this Glendalough
I’m opening up a new chippy serving fish from the Liffey
Nippy crabs bathed in apricots, cotted in haricot verts
Swaddled by ears of boxer’s cauliflower, crunchy sharp taste
Like licking blades
Or eating thousand year old petrified mushrooms you find.
Meeting Dionysus, he says drink to discern the mysteries
Makes me a priest of Eleusis there and then
Guarding his glade Easter to Michaelmas
My angel-given glaive stays invaders
I’m breathing like Darth Vader on sports day after the first fray
Of a ten scrap melee, how I loathe tourney format
Needed my armour stretched, fastens printing bands on the gut
Marbled inside but outside a walking boulder, marvel
Glut in arms and armour
Sight to see fighting, awe-prying even deniers
Duck dive keen clean, surprisingly agile for a fat guy
I smile a lot but I’ve got a shark’s guile
Expecting at eight, ringing off with a smile
I’ve got rings on every finger
Cross at my chest like a leatherbound bible on a hotel bedside
No less a primer, no less divine, for interest’s lack
Dogs sit below me when I eat, catching tasty flak
If we fought world war two with burgers insteada bullets
I’d have ordered another few, we all would
Eat let’s not less.
Are what you eat, don’t remember eating so much genius
Smoke a lot of weed though, supreme priest of green
So forgetting wouldn’t surprise, I rise from the hippocrene
After a long deep drink and have a long deep think about my Limericks
I care more about my lyrics than I do about living
As an alchemist watches his alembic for changes
So I must be languid and solitary for long stretches, noting differences
Your unwanted entrances swiftly enrage me
My tone barely containing hatred fails to convey my loathing thereof
I love you, dear, more than most but not more than anything
Not more than I love myself vanishing in a vanquishment of verbs
That is my flourishing, nourishment, flowering and devourment
Taking this, for even one instance, is to rob me of all power
Finding true expression only in my lessened self, rare that hour!
To suddenly be wrenched from monomania, losing Xanadu
You ask me do I want a coffee and I do but I hate you for it.
I wait hours, days even, worrying my shipment will not arrive
Bassanio on the shore awaiting laden vessels
In sooth I know not why I am so sad
In pursuit of source have gone quite mad
Sorry to my dad, whose plans I neither asked nor longed fulfilled
Sorry to my plants, who I failed to water, and whose frail limbs
Even now cling to life by the faintest silken thread, ill things.
It arrives then like a flood from God, every dog impatient before it
Flurrying words like prize tickets
Driving upon curbs to hail them
Yielding curses as vendors fall into the road
I must await patiently an egg’s arrival, let alone one hatching
Long long long boring nothing
Suddenly action more than one wished sanctioned.
See your scuttling hand and force it back
Abundant as City of London, surfeit what you lack
I scoop up the bill like Lacrosse, mob boss shit
Stare at all my guests down the table, like the Passion
Another year in fashion surpassing, cutlassing the champer’s neck
Lick her neck like the rim of a wine glass girdled with microdot acid
I’m hearing your noteless Fantasia
Bottle farts and men will pay you
Bombastic swelling motifs, cheeks flush when you look up
Yours or mine
Wanna ask you that at the end of tonight
Hold the door, top of the taxi line
It’s fucking fantastic, guts and arms elastic
My inner windlass turns, lash the wind to my jodhpurs
Know this might be odd but think I might be God’s son
We can’t be sure until I’m back, but keep up the practice
Drink the wine, no you’re not vampires, be to others example.
Dog chewing on a fifty quid hambone
In wit, landed fifty crits and my clip still got ammo
When I hear it click or jam, I out the rambo I used to cut the roast open
Used be the most hopeful, now I’m the cunt with the stuff that’s notable
Stuffing fiver notes up nose, testing that coke’s potable, Colombian opal
Wore blue crocs anticipating meat sweats, and a stripey vest
Looking like a gay sailor ready to swab decks
My guests, different to yesterday’s, feign interest, laughing at my jests
Yellow corn Elysian teasing my mouth ceiling
See it again tomorrow, hear it pinging off the porcelain
Find it that appealing
I’m the revered preacher in residence here, revered for cleaning feet
Feature of this church since, well not quite B.C.
Look upon my unpleasing feature, pitiful creature
Call me an unworthy shepherd, see me dead to highlight err
I am a scapegoat, meeting bravely inescapable fate.
Dreaming things edible esculent
Culinary medicine delectable tastificant
By day taste’s miser, gruel water and hard tack only
Sleeping I inhabit an oneiric epicurean
My fancies come as cured ham
Fat man’s fantasies, weighing in lbs 118
Seen heavier turkeys, eaten heavier jerkies, but only whilst asleep
Tossing in my chamber, wondering spinach or rocket
Meals in cooking frowns inspiring, much fretted over
No! That milk is over, that meat is foetid; oh move over
Send not a drover to do a shepherd’s job
Send not a Moses to Gomorrah and Sodom
Fatty lumps of succulent rump, boiling broths frothing over.
Lean cuts of bacon as grace my plate
Make a Vegan wanna taste, kneel to Rimmon can’t maintain God’s grace
But those ribs are glazed, parted from the rack like paid wages
Like Eve peeled away from Adam after recalcitrant Lilith was sent away
Eden is too early for suffragettes, even Pankhurst agrees
We’re having butter-stuffed English Muffins, pancakes
Hunks of bread with crusty black flanks, save me the heel
I dip it in olive grease, appealing to the Gods of the Greek
Whose breath in satisfaction makes a breeze that stirs the wheat
Water jug cold and clear, feeling like I could dip my feet in
Dive to the lapis deep end, the bravest diver Irish
What would I find, what would my dictys keep
Hunger creeps up and away just as fast
Whip up a batch of quail eggs and mayonnaise, be quick about it
Needed more apple segments in my Waldorf salad but it wasn’t too bad
Pomes like gilded planets, slice of eggplant like stamped bad banana
Beside peppered eggs like fit to burst solar blisters
Chef kiss my fingers like upon the cheek of my sisters in greeting
Feeling Grecian eating peeled apple lunula
I should get a Toga and little boots Caligula.
Music is classy, Dvorak suites
Cannabis infused jelly beans pyramided on a gleaming brass platter
Someone asked how many, I didn’t glance, answered it didn’t matter
First movement of the Moonlight Sonata
Conducting with my arm like I had a ghost orchestra
Clicking like Sinatra, goth chick with a split tongue telling me about Tantra
She wears legging as pants, looking like Logan’s Run
Hate that anonymous look, I slug down another finger of glug and look up
You across the room, brighter bulb looking sultry seductive
Unfit for selvedge, dress hem most distant from your heel
I am stirred like Achilles hearing his lover’s death
My breath rhythmless seeks pattern
Dancefloor pattern chequerboard like a Van or a Masonic Lodge
Two stepping malevolent dodging revellers
Boogey to your side, caught in headlights
Make me roadkill, maybe overkill but composed you three hundred odes
Tell she wants to go but not with me, wrote some of it but not this scene
Manifesting badly, broadcast full of static, she’s 4K I’m ceephax
Step back, need a stimpack, she’s wearing a skimpy backless black dress
Looks like an actress awaiting interview, somebody who knows Brad Pitt
Magnetic I am a knacker really, Brad Pitt but in Snatch, most unworthy.
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