Retiring the Lifetired

Turok how I brandish in retirement homes, sand off a few dinosaur noses

Here on council premises banishing grannies

Help to dust form these old bagged bones

Go through them like covid, dead before Bovril’s done

Standoff at reception resolved quick elbow hits like a brick

Clock-ticking everyone has a bum ticker

Flick through first victim’s pockets; discard tissues, lozenges, receipts, two dollars and a lost locket they intended to return to Mr Coffey’s bedside locker

Where is she? Got her.

Pocket a laminated keycard

Pop open doors hard kicks would stove, retarding plywood.


Walk in looking debonair, slicked back hair, authoritative air

Looking down rows of rocking chairs, shocking mops of purple hair

They wonder whose heir I am, as I planned

From my vantage inflicting maximum damage

Advantage man has over an ant in open plan combat

I aim, fish in this barrel quarrel about the news, requiring marrow

They rode time’s arrow to its straw man

Past nuke-riding Reagan, fell short age of rayguns

Giving them glorious pagan death, I sense Pan here from rampant panic

Overturned trays clattering against lino, screaming reaches impressive hyena high notes

Some elapse on the spot, others relapse into hysterics, most clasp hands in prayer

At my gunclap first wave collapses like tsunami-racked statues.


Retirement first part of dying, look how life-tired they are

Most not even crying, crying out for release from ailment and disease

A nurse surprised as anyone tries chiding me

Glides across reception desk knocking biros

Charges me, tries prying away my gun which I wrestle away

Quickattack dispatch her violently

Vanish a panicked septuagenarian 

Vanquishing long-languishing anguisheds, offering last chance Valhalla.

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