Alchemisland

I dunk my face in the sauce béarnaise 

Basted in gravy I half-glazed my face

Eyes like crying at the spices, ask was I maced

Point to the peppers, easy on them go

Trying to beat last best Scoville score

They are pale but the Scoville Scale

Lists eight zeroes, enough to peel paint

Peppers so ghostly the REM pod starts

EVP reader catching snippets of gibbeted ghosts as it dribbles out my arse

White as ghost fingers or animate mayonnaise these gut-flayers

And they’ll turn your face John Player Blue

So much sweat sheeting off you

In the shining light you are sheening

A wet swine tween plate and sty

Are you OK? You look like you’re going to die

Absolutely I am OK! I lie.