Well, that’s your plan scuppered, he mutters
He sees them malingering outside, snipes from the gutter
Doubtless holding tucked cutters
Knows the kind, make career
Of destroying the area
Knows how to deal with them
Just like he did in Korea
Call in the pros, Mavis
Old man wielding a baseball bat instructs his wife
To dial nine nine nine
Lives are on the line
Operator is on the line
War is on his mind
His front garden a patch of bomb-hardened
Beach from Saving Private Ryan
Stares out the window to the pavement
This neighbourhood gone to the cleaners
Mavis, this what my service paid for?
Where the boys drink shirtless, the road surface
Is smooth as a Klingon’s forehead
Two scroungers, punk rockers, Beavis
And Butthead.
Alchemisland 
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